Hey guys look at this interesting post from one of my fellow UIUC'ers.
http://www.xanga.com/Pupupoomaner/691513509/gods-singles-bar/?nextdate=last&leftcmt=1
Questions/comments?
Showing posts with label Thought of the Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thought of the Day. Show all posts
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
THE INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL OF MAN LAWS
WAHAHAHA... this is so hilarious.
====================================================
THE INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL OF MAN LAWS
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally
killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is
forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is
unsuitable.
6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is
strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar
of the birthday boy's choice.
7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
the weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you
may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask
who's playing.
9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her
to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven) she's
officially your girlfriend.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a
topless model and only when it's free.
11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you
allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
13: Friends don't let friends wear speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.
15: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability
to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
remain sober enough to fight.
17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on
longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by
the phone. Hang up if necessary.
22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a
friend"€� have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're
feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each
other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake
it was.
23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable
for her to drive yours.
24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime
green, orange, or sky blue.
25: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas ?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want !" gets
an Xbox 360. End of story.
26: There is no reason for guys to watch ice skating or men's
gymnastics. Ever.
27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls ... but do
you really know the difference between them ? In an effort to keep
you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say,
"Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere ?"
"BALLS"� is coming home late after a night out with the guys
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping
your wife square on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're
next, fatty !"
I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Man Laws.
====================================================
Vote for your favorite LAW! Mine is #25. :D
I'm sure there's an international council of WOMAN LAWS somewhere too ... maybe it'll show up on another blog somewhere.
====================================================
THE INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL OF MAN LAWS
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally
killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is
forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is
unsuitable.
6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is
strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar
of the birthday boy's choice.
7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
the weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you
may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask
who's playing.
9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her
to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven) she's
officially your girlfriend.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a
topless model and only when it's free.
11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you
allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
13: Friends don't let friends wear speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.
15: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability
to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
remain sober enough to fight.
17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on
longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by
the phone. Hang up if necessary.
22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a
friend"€� have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're
feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each
other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake
it was.
23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable
for her to drive yours.
24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime
green, orange, or sky blue.
25: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas ?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want !" gets
an Xbox 360. End of story.
26: There is no reason for guys to watch ice skating or men's
gymnastics. Ever.
27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls ... but do
you really know the difference between them ? In an effort to keep
you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say,
"Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere ?"
"BALLS"� is coming home late after a night out with the guys
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping
your wife square on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're
next, fatty !"
I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Man Laws.
====================================================
Vote for your favorite LAW! Mine is #25. :D
I'm sure there's an international council of WOMAN LAWS somewhere too ... maybe it'll show up on another blog somewhere.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
There are still good people in this world.
Yesterday after my Peach Blossoms presentation, I went to 17km sea shore with a couple of friends to watch the meteor shower. Somehow, I forgot that I had my USB in my pocket, which decided to fall out while I was lying on the grass gazing at the stars.
I didn't even notice that my USB was gone until I received a call from Linda. Apparently, a guy from 元培科技大學 found it and called Linda (I had the IMBA contact list inside, and I guess he chose the most attractive name to call). Linda smartly figured out that it was my USB.
Anyways, I got my USB back! I told him that he could contact me if he ever needed anything (聯誼 .. etc).
P.S. The meteor shower wasn't visible - too many clouds. Geez.
I didn't even notice that my USB was gone until I received a call from Linda. Apparently, a guy from 元培科技大學 found it and called Linda (I had the IMBA contact list inside, and I guess he chose the most attractive name to call). Linda smartly figured out that it was my USB.
Anyways, I got my USB back! I told him that he could contact me if he ever needed anything (聯誼 .. etc).
P.S. The meteor shower wasn't visible - too many clouds. Geez.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
alcohol tolerance
Having too good of it is not always a good thing ...
Still, hangovers suck. It seems easier for me to get one nowadays.
Still, hangovers suck. It seems easier for me to get one nowadays.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Dinosaurs
In Taiwan, we call really ugly girls "恐龍" (dinosaurs).
Still hurting from the breakup, I decided to go on Skype and chat some gals out. That afternoon, I decided to meet one of them.
I've met more than 50 gals from the internet throughout my lifetime ... this one gotta be top 5 in terms of dinosaurs.
But really friendly girl. A nice personality.
Still hurting from the breakup, I decided to go on Skype and chat some gals out. That afternoon, I decided to meet one of them.
I've met more than 50 gals from the internet throughout my lifetime ... this one gotta be top 5 in terms of dinosaurs.
But really friendly girl. A nice personality.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Toyota Vios: Top speed = 165km/h
Hsinchu -> Banchiao: 28 minutes. Record time.
I was driving 140~150km/h most of the way though.
I only went below 140km/h for tolls and police cars.
I was driving 140~150km/h most of the way though.
I only went below 140km/h for tolls and police cars.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
A point to ponder
Why ... do all the cute girls sit together, and all the ugly girls sit together?
This becomes more apparent as you goto a class with 100+ students.
This becomes more apparent as you goto a class with 100+ students.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
2nd week of class
I wouldn't say that I'm "really busy" now (compared to what I'm used to), but I'm not exactly "free" either. I still find myself working till midnights on some weeknights.
AND ... I haven't done anything for 4 out of my 6 classes yet! (Yep, the two marketing classes have kept me busy till now.) It'll be interesting what kind of state I'll be in once the loadings from the other classes come piling in.
It's a good thing grades don't concern me that much anymore compared to before ... otherwise I might have a nervous breakdown then. Focus on the projects ... screw the exams. (stats/finance/econ... I still love u guys!)
AND ... I haven't done anything for 4 out of my 6 classes yet! (Yep, the two marketing classes have kept me busy till now.) It'll be interesting what kind of state I'll be in once the loadings from the other classes come piling in.
It's a good thing grades don't concern me that much anymore compared to before ... otherwise I might have a nervous breakdown then. Focus on the projects ... screw the exams. (stats/finance/econ... I still love u guys!)
Friday, September 19, 2008
Goodbye, Foxconn. Hello, Tsinghua!
Today (actually, yesterday .. it's past midnight) was my last day at Foxconn. I went in, cleaned out my desk, ran the necessary procedures ... said my goodbyes to everyone. After two full years at Foxconn and thousands of hours of my life poured in, it's finally time to say goodbye and to move on to the next chapter of my life.
Foxconn has brought me a lot of experiences. I started out just as a test engineer for a cell phone model (Nokia 1325), to being in charge of a whole section of hardware of a smart phone (including component selection, design, layout, testing, debugging...etc), to being project manager of a GPS device. I've worked on cell phones and GPS devices, took on roles as engineer and PM, and have had experiences working in Hsinchu, Taipei, Shenzhen, and Shanghai, while attaining experiences working with both vendors and customers.
Mixed feelings. I'll miss the work life, but it's definitely time to move on. This is my first week at Tsinghua, and already I've met loads of cool people. Hello, Tsinghua!
Foxconn has brought me a lot of experiences. I started out just as a test engineer for a cell phone model (Nokia 1325), to being in charge of a whole section of hardware of a smart phone (including component selection, design, layout, testing, debugging...etc), to being project manager of a GPS device. I've worked on cell phones and GPS devices, took on roles as engineer and PM, and have had experiences working in Hsinchu, Taipei, Shenzhen, and Shanghai, while attaining experiences working with both vendors and customers.
Mixed feelings. I'll miss the work life, but it's definitely time to move on. This is my first week at Tsinghua, and already I've met loads of cool people. Hello, Tsinghua!
Monday, September 15, 2008
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